Permanent link for A Reflection and Gentle Check-In on November 22, 2025

Content note: This post mentions sexual and relationship violence. If that’s hard to read about today, please take care of yourself and skip or come back when you’re ready.

Looking Back: What We Mean by the Red Zone

The first six to eight weeks of the fall semester are often called the Red Zone, a time when college students are at increased risk for sexual assault and other forms of gender-based violence. New routines, parties, alcohol, and pressure to jump right in socially can create situations where consent, boundaries, and safety get blurred or ignored.

This fall, our Red Zone awareness efforts focused on:

1. Naming what’s really happening.
   1. Talking openly about the Red Zone helps reduce shame and confusion. Harm is never the survivor’s fault, no matter what they were wearing, drinking, or doing.
2. Highlighting consent as ongoing communication.
   1. Consent isn’t just a one-time “yes”. It’s enthusiastic, freely given, specific, and can be changed or withdrawn at any time.
3. Encouraging bystander intervention.
   1. We emphasize simple ways to step in, such as checking on a friend, creating distractions, calling for support, or getting help from staff or authorities when needed.
4. Connecting students to resources.
   1. Awareness is important, but so is knowing: Who can I talk to? Where do I go if something happens?

If you’re reading this and remembering something didn’t feel right, your feelings are valid. You don’t have to prove it was serious enough to ask for help. If it’s sitting on your mind or in your body, it matters.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Beyond Purple Ribbons

In October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) gave us space to zoom out and look at patterns of harm in relationships, on and off campus.

We talked about how domestic and relationship violence can look very different from what we see in movies:

• It’s not always physical. It can be emotional, verbal, financial, digital, or sexual.
• It can happen in queer relationships, situationships, long-distance relationships, or with someone you’ve only known a short time.
• It often shows up as patterns such as isolation from friends, monitoring your phone, constant jealousy, threats, put-downs, or pressure around sex or your body.

DVAM also reminded us that:

• Love shouldn’t feel like walking on eggshells
• Fear, manipulation, and control are not “normal couples’ problems.”
• You deserve relationships where your voice, boundaries, and safety are respected.

If this made you pause and think about your own relationships, a friend, or even a family member, that’s okay. Awareness can be uncomfortable, but it’s also the first step toward change, support, and healing.

Moving Into the Holidays: What This Season Can Bring Up

As we move toward the end of the semester and into the holidays, a lot of feelings can show up all at once:

• Relief that classes are wrapping up
• Stress about grades and deadlines
• Anxiety about going home or not having a stable or supportive place to go.
• Pressure around family expectations, cultural or religious norms, and conversations around dating, gender, identity, or boundaries.

For some students, the holidays are cozy and joyful. For others, they can be lonely, activating, or unsafe, especially if:

• You’re going to a conflict-heavy or emotionally abusive environment
• Someone in your life has a history of being controlling, aggressive, or dismissive of your boundaries
• You’re in a relationship where you feel pressured, watched, or afraid of your partner’s reaction.
• Your identity (queer, trans, nonbinary, neurodivergent, etc.) isn’t fully seen or respected by a family or community.

Wherever you’re at, your experience is real and deserves care.

Gentle Strategies for Protecting Your Peace Over the Holidays

You don’t have to overhaul your whole break to take care of yourself. A few small steps can make things feel more grounded.

• Check in with yourself.
  • What are you hoping for? What’s worrying you? Who can you reach out to for support?
• Set simple boundaries.
  • Try phrases like: “I’m not comfortable talking about that”, or “I need a minute.” Your boundaries are valid even if others don’t agree.
• Make a basic safety/support plan.
  • Think ahead about who feels safe, how you could leave a situation if needed, and who you can text or call when things feel heavy.
• Care for your nervous system.
  • Eat regularly, stay hydrated, get some fresh air, and find one small thing each day that feels like you. Rest is not something you have to earn.

Looking Ahead: You Deserve Safe, Respectful Relationships

As we move from Red Zone Awareness and DVAM into finals and the holidays, here’s what we hope you carry with you:

• Your gut feelings are worth listening to.
• You never cause someone else’s abusive behavior.
• You deserve romantic, sexual, platonic, and family relationships rooted in respect, care, and choice.
• Community matters. Healing doesn’t have to happen alone.

You’re Not Alone: Campus & Community Resources

GVSU Office of Civil Rights & Title IX  

Supports students who have experienced sexual assault, stalking, dating or domestic violence, harassment, or gender-based discrimination. They can explain your rights, outline reporting options (including informal or no-report pathways), assist with accommodations, and help you navigate next steps at your own pace.

Victim-Survivor Advocacy

Provides confidential trauma-informed support for students impacted by sexual or relationship violence. Advocates can help with safety planning, emotional support, academic accommodations, understanding reporting options, and connecting with campus or community resources, all without any pressure.

University Counseling Center

Offers free, short-term mental health services to GVSU students, including individual counseling, groups, crisis support, and referrals. The Counseling Center can help with trauma, stress, anxiety, depression, relationship concerns, and any issues affecting your well-being.

Looking for Support in Your Hometown?

If you’d like help finding your local resources, such as advocacy centers, counseling services, shelters, or clinics, reach out to the Center for Health and Well-Being. We’re happy to help you locate support that feels safe, accessible, and close to home.

Categories: sexual assault Violence prevention
Posted by Heather Alberda on Permanent link for A Reflection and Gentle Check-In on November 22, 2025.