Hi! My name is Ana Spaine and I am on the Women’s soccer team at Grand Valley! I would love to share a story with you… 

Before I transferred to Grand Valley, I was a student-athlete at a different university. I established friendships there that will last a lifetime; one friendship in particular completely changed my perspective on mental health. This friend is a stellar athlete, outgoing, smart, a leader, competitive, personable and extremely committed. From an outside perspective, this friend seemed like they had everything together. They radiated with happiness, passion and kindness towards everyone. However, this outward portrayal of confidence and happiness shielded everyone from the underlying struggles that my friend was going through. 

I received a call from this friend pretty late one evening; they asked me to come over. I walked to their dorm room, knocked on the door, and as it opened, I was met with utter shock. My friend was in tears, sobbing, seemingly heartbroken. I had never seen my friend like this before. I sat with them for hours as they explained the devastatingly difficult things they had been going through alone. I couldn’t fathom the pain of the events they had experienced. The things they described were even more shocking considering how outwardly “happy” they appeared to be in public and among other friends. As the conversation continued, my friend stated that they no longer wanted to live. My heart shattered. I immediately began to fear losing my best friend. 

I started to explain to my friend how truly valued their life is. The positive impact they had made on me and countless others mattered. The strength and resilience it takes to be a student-athlete is hard, but my friend could do it. My friend was loved by so many. I further encouraged her to get help. The process of healing and learning how to get through such tough times is overwhelming, and often cannot be done alone. Luckily, we had a community of resources including other teammates, coaches, therapists, student counselors and family to help support my friend. 

The process of healing was not easy, but after time, my friend flourished and thrived even more than they had before. That’s not to say that mental health journeys are easily fixed or always progressive steps forward. However, through resilience, hard work and a plethora of support, my friend found happiness again. Of course unfortunate things still happen; my friend still gets sad sometimes, but they now have the resources and support systems to get through the difficult times. 

I learned a lot from this experience. My friend initially felt that asking for help, or talking to someone about their mental health would become a burden. It’s not. The burden of losing my friend would have been entirely greater than any form of support or help I gave them. My only regret was not checking in on my friend earlier. Just because someone seems to have everything together doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask every once in a while how they’re doing. Just because someone portrays happiness on the outside, doesn’t mean they feel it on the inside. It is always okay to check-in with your friends, teammates, loved ones, or even that random person you meet at Starbucks :). Sometimes all it takes is one conversation to start someone's journey of healing. 

I hope this story empowers you to feel comfortable supporting any of the people in your life. I also hope this story empowers you to ask for help. The communities we create through all of our activities, classes, athletics and surroundings are there to help you. 

You are never alone! ~Ana Spaine

#LakersRiseTogether