My name is Gigi Gill, I’m a junior on the women’s lacrosse team, and I just transferred to Grand Valley this fall.

I’m a very extroverted person, so transferring to a new school was extremely exciting. So many people to meet, so many new experiences, new roommates, a whole new school. But what I didn’t expect was how much transferring would help me uncover about myself.

Being surrounded by an amazing team and staff that supports you sounds like every athlete’s dream, and it is. But, in a way, learning how to accept that support has been an adjustment for me.

For a long time, negative self-talk became normal. “I’m not good enough.” “I shouldn’t be here.” “I can’t do this.” When you tell yourself those things for long enough, they can start to creep beyond your identity as an athlete and into the way you see yourself as a person.

Coming into a new environment, I’ve had to learn how to break through the imposter syndrome and self-doubt that had become so familiar to me. It hasn’t been easy, but I already know it will be one of the most rewarding parts of this experience.

I know this team, this staff, and this school have my back. I know they are invested in supporting me and want to see me succeed. So why can’t I always just believe it?

It sounds like a strange concept. You finally find yourself in an environment where you feel supported, yet part of you is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m learning that the negative things I told myself for so long were never actually who I was. And slowly, I’m discovering the positive qualities in myself that were there the entire time.

Transferring has become about so much more than changing schools or putting on a different jersey. It has been about learning to trust myself again, practice positivity, and allow myself to believe the good things, even when reverting to negativity and doubt feels more comfortable.

I’m incredibly grateful that I took a chance and bet on myself. I found a place that already feels like home, and I know the process of rediscovering my confidence and sense of self-worth is something I’ll look back on and cherish forever.

I thought transferring would be the hard part. I’m realizing that sometimes the biggest challenge is allowing yourself to believe that your new beginning can really be different.

Gigi Gill