Hi guys! I’m Natasha and I'm a sophomore on the women’s tennis team! I hope you enjoy reading my story and that it resonates with some of you guys :)

For as long as I can remember, tennis was my life. I lived and breathed it like oxygen. I missed graduations, birthdays, and moments with family and friends, and for years I thought it was worth it. I thought I had no choice: either I succeeded and made everyone proud, or I failed and disappointed everyone- and had to live with the feeling of never being good enough. Looking back, I see how untrue that was.

I didn’t start tennis until I was nine, but I picked it up quickly. I started competing almost right away, and after a few tournaments, I found myself ranked high nationally. By 18, I’d won four national titles and was ranked in the 200s internationally as a junior. Winning my first national title at 12 felt amazing- but it also marked the start of something harder. Being good at tennis early set expectations I'm still trying to outrun today.

As I grew up, I didn’t realize how intense training and competition would shape how I saw myself. Tennis gave me confidence, recognition, lifelong friends, and love from supporters. But when I lost or played badly, I questioned it all. Did those people still value me? Was I only worth something when I won? I asked myself things like: “If I played better, would they like me more? If I quit, was it because I was scared of failing? If I failed, would I always feel like a disappointment?” My mood, my confidence, and my self-esteem revolved around tennis. I couldn’t escape it. Who was I without it?

My performance in tennis dictated how I felt about myself each day, and I resented how dependent I became on it. When I played badly, it affected me deeply. It was as if every other quality I possessed disappeared, and I was left feeling exposed, overshadowed by a heavy sense of shame. For the longest time, I believed that if I didn't make it in tennis, I would never be good enough for myself, for my family, and for the people around me. Just recently, I started seeing glimpses of life beyond tennis. Friends outside the sport call me kind, caring, hardworking, empathetic. Friends in tennis tell me they love me for who I am, not for how I perform. Maybe people really can love me for me- but believing it isn’t always easy.

Childhood shapes you in ways you don’t even notice. If you aren’t supported emotionally and physically during those years, it can affect your friendships, relationships, and how you see yourself forever. Slowly, I’m learning that life isn’t just about my sport. My worth isn’t tied to wins or losses. I am more than my results, and I deserve love just for being me.

If you’ve ever felt like your identity is wrapped up in a sport- or a hobby, or school, or anything else- I hope my story reminds you: you’re not alone. You are more than what you do. You are more than what you achieve. People can love you for your laugh, your kindness, your heart- not just your trophies or titles. Your character is yours forever, and no one can take that away.

-Natasha