[Karly]

Hi everyone and happy spring. We've had a few warm days finally and I'm so happy about it. There's nothing better than actually enjoying the walk to classes without struggling through the snow.

 

[Katie]

I know.

 

[Karly]

Speaking of classes, we're almost done with the semester which is really crazy to think about and I actually am not very happy about it because I have so much to do still. But today we're going to be talking about some of our highs and lows we've experienced this semester and reflect on that. But before we do that, I want to know everyone's favorite spring thing and I know mine is being able to finally sit outside at coffee shops and restaurants.

 

Campus in general is just so much more enjoyable when everyone's out and about because I love to people watch.

 

[Katie]

Oh my god, me too.

 

[Lexie]

Seeing everyone walk around, being outside with their dogs and it's like remembering people like this.

 

[Katie]

Right.

 

[Lexie]

It's like feeling like it's a community a little bit and like yeah, spring is my favorite season because it just feels so strong. It is like a prolonged cold winter. Like by the time it's March, it's been so cold for so long and the first few warm days just feel like so magical.

 

So I'm a big outside person so my most favorite spring thing is definitely going hiking. My friends and I went the other day at the Arboretum and it was so healing to be outside and talk and do homework and not be like shivering.

 

[Katie]

No, literally.

 

[Lexie]

Hoping the weather goes back to that.

 

[Katie]

Soon.

 

[Usha]

My favorite thing about spring is being able to go for walks and hang out until late outside and also one is getting free from heavy jackets. And this weather is pretty much similar to my home country which makes me even more enjoyable.

 

[Katie]

Wait, that's so nice. Also like I didn't think about like getting rid of like the heavy jackets. Like it is so freeing dude.

 

Like I didn't even think about that. It's so annoying but my favorite thing is when it finally gets warmer out and everyone's just like outside walking like including myself and it's like hey guys like you guys are still here too. Like we all survived the winter and it's just like I forgot like so many people like do actually go here because like any time like you're driving by or like that big loop by like the apartments there's like always people out there like no matter what time of day there's always people out there and it's like wait like hey guys.

 

Also I love the spring because it usually does rain a lot and I am such a lazy like person. I love to get all cozy in bed like you guys know this. I am so lazy and I love any sleep that I can get and I know that's like literally the exact opposite from you Lexi but like it doesn't matter.

 

But I'm happy for you like I'm glad you and like someone's enjoying it. Right like most people don't but like and then there's me. So personally I feel like this semester has been so short but also so long at the same time.

 

Like thinking back and I'm like wait how do we only have three four weeks left but at the same time it's like oh my god this semester has taken so long. Like I feel like I've been in this semester forever literally forever but this semester has been just one big routine. I feel like all my turn in dates, quizzes, exams are literally due the same exact time every week.

 

They're the same exact day every week like literally everything's the same every single week. So I think that's why it's been so short but like also so long at the same time because I feel like I've been doing the same exact thing every single week. But I've certainly had a lot of lows but I've had a lot of highs these past few months and I know you guys have too.

 

So Lexie do you want to tell us about some of your highs and lows of the semester?

 

[Lexie]

Yeah I would love to talk about the semester because it's been very bittersweet for me since it's my last before graduating. I kept just being like oh it's so far away I'm so far away.

 

I'm like oh my god.

 

[Katie]

It's literally not.

 

[Lexie]

I'm just having a gap year before grad school because I'm just so you know too unsure about which program I want to pursue and a PhD program is something I want to feel like a hundred percent certain about because it's such a big commitment. But because I'd always planned on going straight into a grad program after undergrad I'm feeling very anxious and so sad about school ending because I just hadn't prepared for that. So the anxiety and uncertainty has definitely been the low of my semester.

 

I've always had a really strict plan for my future so to be veering from it is a lot for me.

 

[Katie]

No I get that.

 

[Lexie]

My biggest fear about not being in school anymore is that I'll lose the like love and passion for learning in the busyness of real life and without the accountability support and structure of college I just worry that learning won't be able to be as big of a priority in my life and that really breaks me out.

 

So yeah thinking about the high of my semester actually works well to kind of quell this anxiety though. I've always been a really slow reader and because of that I didn't really read much outside of school and kind of like self-identified as someone that just like didn't read which is like girl come on but I was like I don't know you know and I was so worried about my psych capstone class at the start of this semester because the pace is reading a book every like week and a half.

 

[Katie]

That's crazy.

 

[Lexie]

I was sitting on like syllabus day and I was like I don't know that like I'll be able to do this like genuinely um but here we are six books in and I discovered my love for reading like even if it takes me a long time because it still does right you know if the book is good I'm absolutely able to read and learn from it which is very encouraging to me about my time post-grad because if I can read I can continue to learn even without the structure of college.

 

 

 

[Katie]

Right.

 

[Lexie]

I can get really caught up in equating college with learning but my capstone class has really illustrated the concept that learning is everywhere if you're curious and like seek to prioritize it so you don't have to be a student to keep learning and growing and that's a helpful truth for me to keep in mind as I approach this next phase of learning.

 

[Katie]

That's such a good way to think about it though because it's like you could really be like down in the dumps.

 

[Lexie]

You could.

 

[Katie]

I know you kind of are about like losing the structure but like you can learn anywhere. Right yeah like you're finding things to replace it.

 

[Lexie]

Yeah.

 

[Karly]

That's really good.

 

[Lexie]

Yeah so book holds me more accountable than like just aimlessly learn it.

 

[Katie]

Right. So for me my semester has definitely been all over the place but I feel like that's like me every single year. I think that I'm always a little bit all over the place like I feel super organized but like not organized at all like I feel like I don't know I just feel like my semesters are always like out of control. My lows this semester have definitely been in my personal life sadly.

 

My personal life has been a little draining recently and school and work have unfortunately been something I have turned to to get away from the things that have been going on. That is like not good because I fear that it's just gonna like be this toxic cycle and like I'm gonna end up hating school and work because I'm just using it as an escape but I digress. All right I've been kind of using it as like a safety blanket or an excuse to get out of situations and get away from people that I've been trying to avoid.

 

It is rude. Like I'm gonna pick up this 7 to 11 shift so like I don't have to be home or I'm gonna spend the night basically at the library so I also don't have to be home. It's like a toxic really bad cycle that I'm in right now but like I know what's going on like I know what I'm doing here kind of whatever.

 

It's currently been a hard balance of doing my schoolwork and actively engaging with the material and just doing schoolwork to be distracted. Like I get more practice with the schoolwork but am I really there to be doing the schoolwork? Am I really there to be learning?

 

Most of the time no but that's just what it is right now and it's upsetting but it's it'll get better it'll definitely get better with some time but my high is definitely my high is definitely being done with physics with physics after a full entire year of physics. Oh my god physics makes me angry. Like I look at it and like why isn't it common sense like you're giving me the equations you're giving me all the tools but why can't I get the right answer?

 

I don't know this it's so stupid yeah like I get scared. I'm terrified of physics. I'm terrified of what it entails like this is stupid.

 

I'm sorry if you have a choice to take physics or not do not do it don't do it it's torture but I also just confirmed that I'm graduating a semester early. This feels like such a high because I've worked so hard like endless hours of stressing crying being angry specifically at like physics or chemistry and like spreading myself so thin throughout all my other commitments in life to complete a bachelor's program that is literally almost impossible to finish in three and a half years but also graduating early as someone who's already young for the grade thanks mom gives me so much imposter syndrome and it makes me feel so anxious for what's to come like literally all I've thought about the last three and a half years is has this degree been enough for me to pursue some type of variation in a medical career or if it's been all for nothing my dad and other family have always been very critical of my decision to move away to college and I think it's getting to me now because it's just like the question is like from all my family is like well what are you going to do after you graduate and like they kind of look down upon like a gap year they're like yeah so like you're not going to go back to school if you take a gap year huh and I'm like you know what?

 

[Karly]

Like oh if you take that break you're never gonna go back literally so I'm just like can we

 

[Katie]

just normalize taking breaks and taking time to make huge life decisions like literally what's wrong about being sure that you're making the correct decision for you like why can't I just I don't get it why can't we just like take a break take a step back and look at our situation from the outside anywho though it doesn't really seem like it I'm very excited to be graduating I'm literally so proud of myself and everything I've accomplished in the past few years

 

[Karly]

Over the course of even this podcast like everything I wrote about for school and like how hard you've worked is just like so amazing bonding people talk about that I know they don't want you to graduate because don't want you to leave me.

 

[Katie]

I know I don't want to leave anybody here I love everybody here

 

[Karly]

This semester for me has been honestly the most growth I've ever experienced like in my life in general um I've changed so much over just the past couple of months and I think it's been going by so quickly and I've had so much to do that I'm not like actually there reflecting on being like oh who am I like what have I done to change I'm just trying to get through like each week basically um growth in general I feel like there's really high highs of it but then really low lows but it's all for the best and I feel like I've really grown into my academic career and started to make noticeable steps towards things I need to do to like prepare myself for grad school I'm like right here um I've really strengthened my study skills and learned like mostly what works for me to like get involved like and just basically like any class I feel like I always had really bad study habits and wasn't actually like that was me taking in the information but now I like know what I'm doing kind of um that's so real yeah like wow people talk about that I've also started to get involved in undergrad research and I'm like recognizing just the passion and the love I have for my major so it's so exciting because I've started to like not get in my head about classes being too hard and I've kind of just started to like believe in myself which like I know sounds so corny because it's like I don't know like everyone's like just like believe in you can do it but like I have yeah.

 

[Katie]

No literally, I feel the same way because like now this far into my major like all the classes are hard like you're gonna have to take them either way just like deal with it and like get over yourself and just like embrace the process, I guess.

 

[Karly]

Exactly, like I've started to go into like harder classes or like just more intense like opportunities in general with like there's nothing saying I can't do this like I don't know why I think that so I just like push myself out of like the negative self-talk and that's really helped me and I've also just made some great lifestyle changes this semester I started working with my friend like five days a week which is so fun yeah I've never like gone to the gym or like worked out and now I'm like wait I get it you understand I just like prioritize quality time with my friends a lot and like spending less time on my phone the beginning of the school year I was like go home shut the door like good night yeah but now I'm like okay I have free time like what are my friends doing let's hang out and that's really helped me because then it takes less pressure away from school almost yeah just because I have like a good distraction in a way um but with all these highs there have been some lows too I do constantly worry about the future like I'm less worried about what I'm doing right now but I'm still always worried about what's to come um I don't really have like a backup plan or a plan for myself if I want to get into any PhD programs I kind of just like look at it with like all or nothing mindset like the idea of not achieving that goal like at least the first time around does worry me and like I try not to think about it too much because like I'll go insane probably but like I have like this set plan that's like okay after I graduate here I go to my PhD program it's completely normal to not get into a single like your first time right just oh my god um tell it but yeah you know what that's for like but I also have been getting like weirdly homesick lately and I never miss home too much I've always just like been excited to finally move away from like small hometown um but sometimes I get really worried about like leaving my parents and my sister my cousins that I've like grown up with I like look back on all our memories and I'm like oh my gosh like wait away and I don't have that anymore um that's like difficult but my family has been combating this by having like annual lake trips over labor day weekend I love that we always get a boat and like hang out and then we've started doing like cousin weekends every few months where we just like all get together and hang out so I definitely feel like the more I grow the more I feel like I stray away from my close-knit family that I'm used to but I mean that's just like natural with life like there's kind of growing up yeah so I'm definitely grappling with the internal thoughts and all the change but I'm also trying to learn to appreciate it.

 

[Usha]

so this semester has been busy and very quick for me compared to my last winter semester I have started off this semester with a full rush as I have not attended two weeks due to my break in India so the first month actually flew quickly though I have very less classes to attend in person this semester has a lot of things to learn and work on uh thinking about in this semester I'm able to give time to many other things like working on projects outside my course uh looking for my internships and working on my capstone project and before this semester I felt it hard to manage my time between coursework and personal stuff but this semester I learned how to manage multiple things and focus on other things too and coming to the lows of this semester I'm looking for internship and sometimes I feel bad for getting rejection which I thought is a good role for me this sometimes make me feel low and avoid applying

 

[Katie]

no I get that yeah 100%

 

[Usha]

but as lows also play an important role I'm learning to cope up with this as every semester has high end lows this one has taught me many things in a quick time

 

[Katie]

that's so awesome thought. Not you getting rejected but like you were learning from it.

 

[Usha]

yes so I think we all agree and feel relatable to each other through all of this hopefully we complete our semester successfully and learn many things useful for our future professional and personal life to cope up with all this uh academic and personal stress and pressure we need to have a mindful moment to balance our lives without feeling overwhelming so let's talk about our mindful moments and I will start with mine last weekend I had a good time with my friends watching a movie one go-karting which makes me feel very refreshed and I have realized that spending time or hanging out with the friends at least once in a week makes me very happy and productive for the next week too yeah and I love watching the moon and sky to my evening class and whether I'm able to enjoy it which brings me a sense of calmness oh yeah I'm also planning to start walking routine with my friend which we both missed in these months.

 

[Katie]

sure for sure

 

[Lexie]

I know I do like I try to be very intentional about the time I spend walking because it really does like add up like you can you know just yeah but like add it up yeah every day I'm like it's a lot of like time so taking that time and space to practice mindfulness and reflect and truly just like allow my mind to wander is so beneficial for my mental health because I spend every day all day like no you focus on this and we're doing homework right like and you need to go like focus focus focus so just being like no like whatever you want like that's so healing and also like part of the reason winter is so funny yeah I don't have that space um life just gets so busy and it's easy for me to get caught up in all the unfinished tasks I love to do so intentionally prioritizing mentally unstructured time helps remind me that life exists beyond my duties.

 

[Katie]

Yeah so recently my anxiety levels have been really really high um so most mornings I wake up super early like four or five a.m. and I cannot go to sleep cannot go back to bed like I'm not going on my phone not doing like any of the bad stuff they say you are but like I cannot go back to sleep so I have been trying to go to bed earlier so I can regain those hours back of sleep and when I am awake I give myself a little bit of time because like it is like ridiculously early so I give myself a little bit of time to relax just be with myself because like my anxiety levels are high and then I will like go do some homework like I'll like recenter myself with things like I'm comfortable with and like my least favorite thing is being tired like if I am tired do not be around me it like I become like the devil it is horrible so getting more sleep at night for me and going to bed earlier ends up being great for everybody honestly like yeah that's that's literally what it is it's mindful for everybody involved

 

[Karly]

I live with my childhood best friend at U of M this past week yeah we literally like it sounds gross but we've been friends for 20 years like since we were born so we only see each other like one to two times a year and it's not even the distance it's just that like she's pre-med and then yeah we're just it's a lot so we have decided to change that this year we like made a schedule that like I go there in the fall she comes here in the winter and in the summer we're going to try and hang out twice so that's so awesome it was a lot of fun and I just love that like when we're together we just pick right up like that's perfect like texting every single day we just like come back and it's that's so perfect

 

[Lexie]

well we all hope that you're deeply enjoying the start of spring and prioritizing your well-being so you're able to finish this semester well we'll be back next month with our final episode of the year no my last peer ed podcast ever um and very special we will also be introducing our new peers eds and saying goodbye to two different ones so as always thank you for listening.

 

[Katie]

bye guys