Katie: Hi everyone. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Lexi.

Usha: I'm Usha.

Katie: I'm Katie.

Karly: I'm Karly.

Lexie: The weather is brutal right now. I think that feels like it's 14 degrees or something outside. Horrible. Literally horrible. My skin was like hurting, so I thought it'd be nice if we could talk about some warm and fuzzy topics. So to start off, I'd love to hear what you all consider to be your favorite characteristic or quality about yourself. We don't get enough opportunities in life to express things we love about ourselves without it feeling like you'll be seen as you're bragging and that's a bummer. So I can start us off. My favorite aspect about myself is my ability to think creatively and it did take me a while to consider myself like quote unquote creative because I'm not and never have been artistically talented and in my mind, like those were the same qualities, I guess.

Lexie: But I love thinking outside the box and imagining dynamic solutions to problems and exploring different ideas and possibilities, which I've decided makes me creative and that's something I love in myself and love in other people.

Usha: Oh, that's a very favorite good favorite characteristic about Lexie and about me coming to myself. I have the, my favorite thing about me is adaptability. I can adjust quickly to different situations and people without getting too involved or too close quickly by maintaining my piece too.

Katie: I agree with that. You definitely, you definitely have that . My quality I really like about myself is how empathetic and understanding I am. I guess like I feel like I can relate it to like every different part of my life. Those two qualities. Like I can really relate it in my personal life, my work life, and probably school somehow, I'll figure that out later . But I can definitely do those things in every aspect of my life.

Karly: I completely agree. You're definitely very easy to talk to.

Usha: Yeah.

Karly: My favorite thing about myself is probably how hardworking I am in the motivation I have . I feel like when it comes to school, that's usually the thing that I don't let myself fall back on as quickly as other things. So when I know there's like something to do or something I need to work on, I usually can get myself to. But yeah,

 

Katie: You are really hardworking and feel like, like I always like text you or see you and you're like literally always so something true, calm down.

Karly: I'm always at the library.

Katie: Literally calm down for like two seconds. But to talk about like our main topic today, I feel like these favorite things about ourselves can be like our greatest strengths and like the type of roles we play and the type of people we are in our lives. This can be our relationships with other people like our, like I said, our work life and things like that. And I just don't think we realize that. I just think that we have all these amazing qualities and not know how they kind of tie into our daily lives. So yeah, I'd love to know what roles everybody's playing in their lives.

Karly: I think that my favorite role in my life is being a sister and hopefully my sister's not listening to this. My sister is actually my best friend and it's so comforting to just like know that no matter what happens in our lives, like we're close with each other. I feel like you don't like have that kind of connection with just like friends that you're close with. But my sister is a lot older than me, and I feel like that's actually been a really big blessing because I've had her to look up to and get advice from her because everything that I'm going through, she's pretty much already gone through. Whether that be first moving to college, going through my first heartbreak or literally just complaining about our mom...

Lexie: Stop it. So real.

Karly: When I was in high school and I'd be complaining about things she'd was doing, she'd be like, yeah, that was same for me.

Lexie: Yeah, so validating. Yeah.

Karly: Yeah. So, it's just nice to have her there to relate to everything on that level that just a regular friendship probably wouldn't be able to. And I definitely look for that same type of connection in my other friendships. Two of my closest friends are like four years older than me and they've definitely taken on like the big sister and big brother role. And so just having someone who knows your family and you so well is such a good experience and I'm so grateful that I have.

Lexie: Aww. Yeah. And like I have a sister, but not everybody has a sister, so I think that's also like a part of it. Yeah. It is sad to me when people say that. I'm like, you're missing out. I know. Like what do you do in your life? Yeah. Yeah. My favorite role in life is being a student. I love the freedom of it and the fact that it's truly limitless as a role, if that makes sense. I enjoy novelty, so the continuous variety in my classes keeps me motivated and like passionate about , not only school but also life in general, which is really nice. I deeply value my professors and often like stop by their office hours to chat about their lives and ideas because they're such inspiring and interesting people. Learning is what my favorite things, but I struggle to make the time to learn on my own without feeling. Yeah. Like guilty or like I'm being unproductive, which is so sad.

Lexie: Yeah. But school embeds learning into my daily life, making it an essential part of my routine and self-growth is one of my top priorities as it's important to me to try to be my best self in all of my roles in life. So being a student gives me a space to pursue and fulfill my personal development goals without feeling guilty about it, which is really nice. I've become a much more aware and empowered person through learning and that would not have been possible for me without the structure of college.

Lexie: It's also helped me find like-minded friends, which has improved many aspects of my life. And yeah, it's just, it's easy for me to get really caught up in fulfilling all of the required roles in my life and not leave any time or space for fulfilling myself. And that's led to negative consequences in my life in the past. So school requiring me to set time aside to think, learn, reflect, and grow ultimately shapes me into a better person. And other roles in my life can do the same, but I've found that they're much less effective if I'm in a stagnant place as an individual. I very much resonate with the, you can't help others if you don't help yourself logic. If I'm uninspired, apathetic, myopic and bored with life, how could I possibly uplift myself or anyone around me? And that is my ultimate aim.

Katie: I love the way you talk about school. Yes. Because like I love to go to school and I love to learn, but like the way you just put it in the words is like insane to me. Like I you do such a good job of explaining like what you like about school, why it's helpful for you. I think it's so amazing and I love it.

Lexie: It like saved my life like I like so deeply and I think everybody like has that thing. And for me it just, and like I'm so lucky to have gone to school and it being school, right. You know, like I feel like not everybody's lucky enough.

Katie: Yeah. And school is such like a positive thing to like fall back on because like you're always learning and like I wish we didn't feel like learning in our own time was like something that was a burden to all of our other stuff. I just wish like people like wanted to learn for fun, you know? Me too. Me too. Me too.

Karly: School has a bad, like bad rap for a lot of people.

Karly: A lot of people don't like school. Or if you say you like school, you kind of get like a weird book from everyone. But like the way you explain it is just so nice.

 

Lexie: Like why?

Karly: That's so refreshing to hear that like other people

Lexie: No, it like low key disturbs me so deeply when people are like, when they mean it. Like when they're like at hey school, like I'm just here to get my diploma. Like, okay, well you're wasting such a big opportunity.

Katie: Right, right. And it's like I tell my like my mom about things I'm learning and that kind of stuff. Like I think it's so fun, but like you're such a nerd. I'm like, why is being a nerd a bad thing? Like why? Like this is awesome. Like what I learn is so cool and I like wish everybody had a chance to learn what I learned, but they don't. And it's so upsetting.

Lexie: It's so upsetting. Like truly so upsetting. Yeah. I think of all the people that would enjoy school the way that I would and would benefit from school the way that I have. Yeah. And don't have access to it. And that like devastates me, right?

Katie: Yeah. Yeah. So, we're going to talk about my role now. Now that we've heard about Lexi's. Amazing. Okay. Talking about school, I wish I could speak like that, but I feel like I play so many different roles in my personal life, but I think that in most of my relationships I'm usually the one that people go to when they need to rant or they are upset or they just need someone to talk to. And I honestly really like that. I love being the person that people can go to. And I think it's so awesome that like people feel comfortable with me, you know, stop.

Lexie: I love the way you frame that. Like it's not a burden like you love, that's awesome.

Katie: But like going off of like the whole burden thing, like literally every time my mom and my sister get into an argument at home, they'll either call me or text me and I'll hear all about it. I'm currently working with this with my therapist because it's like, at first I'm like, oh, this is like fine. Like I like that they can talk to me like, and I kind of like, like to know what's going on at home.

Lexie: So valid. It's so valid.

Katie: I like to know what's going on. But at the same time it's like those aren't my relationships to fix, you know what I'm saying? Like they're not my responsibility. Yeah. And like them putting everything on me to like either try to fix it with the other person or whatever they're trying to do. It could be a really toxic boundary. And it took me a lot to realize that like why can't I just be a person that helps other people, but at the same time, like who's helping me? You know, it's definitely working on it definitely a huge problem, issue, whatever.

 

Katie: But like if my roommates are in crisis or upset, they will be in my room immediately. They come to me for comfort advice or just someone to be there with them. Sometimes this gets a little difficult because I'm my own person with my own struggles, but I ultimately love being that person that people find peace in and comfort in. And I think it's like a huge compliment.

Lexie: Absolutely.

Katie: It makes me feel so good about myself and I just like, I don't know, like it makes me feel happy. I, yeah, like while this role has huge potential to be toxic and overwhelming , I'm getting better at being able to separate my needs and my problems and my time and creating boundaries for when I've had enough or when I think that it's too overwhelming or a word my therapist really likes to use is unproductive.

Lexie: Like, are we having a productive conversation right now? Like are you talking to me about this in a productive way? Like, it takes a lot of learning on my part, but like this is something I need to learn because I can't go throughout my whole life and just like be that person for everybody and not like look inwards and help myself and like have someone to go to I guess. But yeah, so I love being that person, but at the same time, like I'm trying to learn how to be like able to make those boundaries <affirmative> and be able to be my own person again.

Lexie: No, I feel like that's such a great point. Like, you know, as much as we all love our roles, being in that role all the time, no matter what it is, is not gonna be healthy. Like it is draining. Even, you know, school's awesome, but like there are other things to be doing and that you can't, so I feel like that's a really, like just cause you love it doesn't mean it's healthy all the time. Exactly. That's a good point.

Usha: Yeah, I, I can totally relate with three or all the three of you too, because as everyone I do play different roles in daily life. I have similar ones. Like being a daughter, sister, friend, student. Currently my favorite role is being a student in the abroad. As you all know, I'm an international student. I'm pursuing my graduate studies here. So this is my favorite role. Initially this role felt very overwhelming as managing everything at once . But when I started analyzing, I realized that this is the role where I actually explored myself more adapted to a new culture and enjoy chilling with friends while maintaining my home chores and everything. And this role is for sure a mix of enjoyment and responsibility and which will be, remain a great experience for me in my life.

 

Lexie: Stop I love that.

Katie: So cool.

Katie: Like I feel like people here don't really like take a second to like to appreciate what we have here. Yeah. And like hearing that from your point of view, it's like, man, maybe I should really like be really grateful for what I have right now. I just think that that just gets passed over a lot. I don't know.

Lexie: Yeah, the like adaptability and truly responsibility of being an intern international student is so impressive to me. And I feel like that isn't talked about like too often. But, it is such an impressive endeavor to me. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I'm glad you love it. How exciting.

Karly: I love hearing about everyone's roles and as we've seen, it's important to take time for ourselves and not just let one role completely define us. So with that, let's hear about our mindful moments. I can start us off. Yeah. My mindful moment has been making more in-class friends.

Lexie: Such That's a good one. Such a good one.

Karly: I feel like I usually like, oh, if I don't hang out with this person all the time or like outside of this, maybe we're not friends, but like, it doesn't have to be like that. Like no, there are some people that are definitely just for like that class or just like here and there. And so, I've been trying to actually chat with people around me, like, I don't know, it's just nice to have someone that's like, you know, you can relate on at least the level of that class one. Yeah. Like you can always talk about it. So, whenever I go to class, I try to try like talk to people around me more cause I used to be very shy about that.

Katie: I feel like I'm like basically senior now and I'm still shy. Like, but then again I go to class and I'm like, don't talk to me. I'm just like, I'm, I'm here to learn. Like I don't feel like talking to anyone today. I feel like I should be more social.

Lexie: I'm the annoying one that does want to be friends, but I feel like I often invalidate those friendships by being like, we don't hang outside of class. We're not actually friends, but like, but it's like relax. Like you can have a class.

Katie: Like who said that? 

Lexie: Who said that? Yeah.

Karly: Like even if you don't hang out, you still like see them around campus.

Lexie: Yeah. Lowkey. I probably see them more than like some of my, I mean if I see them like Monday, Wednesday. No, I love that. That was a really nice lens. Yeah.

Usha: Yeah. Coming to my mindful moment, I'm being more mindful about my food. Usually whenever I'm hungry I used to take everything junk and everything without minding about what, how much calories or how useful it is to me to my body. But now I'm being more mindful about it and I'm also thinking about like taking time very seriously. like using time for the product of things without wasting time on social media or anything. So yeah, it is the one thing for me to use my time wisely and also while taking, concentrating on my fitness. 

Katie: I love that.

Lexie: I love that. Yeah. As many of you know, I us like, I really enjoy being like active. And unfortunately, in the winter it's like really hard because I can't be outside and I hate the gym like, like loath actually. Okay. Like I can't emphasize it enough, like All right, great. As long as we're on the same age and my family is like a CrossFit family, so.

Katie: Oh really?

Lexie: Yeah.

Katie: Oh wow.

Lexie: Well, my younger sister, like she goes here and she's a wrestler, so and she's more similar to me, so like when they go to the gym, they want to like get as strong as possible and lose as much weight as possible. Yeah. And like, like it's so intense and exhausting and like to me very overwhelming. Yeah. So, I had kind of stayed away from the idea of doing like, like a gym or exercise or anything because I just was like, I go for my walks, I'm fine, but it's been really cold. And so I signed up for an aerial fitness introductory like series class and it's been so fun because the focus of like everyone there is just like being active. Like just being like...

Katie: That's so awesome.

Lexie: Like you're just moving and moving your body. Like there's no like, yeah, there's just living life, like trying new things. There's no like you need to lose weight, and you need to be this strong. It's so like non-competitive.

Katie: That also is like healing.

Lexie: Yeah it's, it is.

Karly: I feel like it doesn't have that judgment that the gym can have sometimes.

Karly: And these people aren't judging you. I feel like I walk in...

 

Katie: There's definitely people judging, even if they say they aren't.

Lexie: Because to me that's like the culture of the gym.

Lexie: Unfortunate.

Lexie: But this place is, they do such like, like different movements and things that like nobody's good at it so you can't be competitive. Like, oh it's so nice. Anyway. So And mindful. Mindful there . Yeah, very mindful.

Katie: Yeah. So I have been going to the gym every single day, which is crazy.

Lexie: Pop off. Oh my God.

Lexie: I usually like to go on like maybe two or three weeks where I'm going to the gym consistently. But it's literally been since January, like the beginning of January, and I'm at that point in time where I'm like, I'd rather go to the gym than do my homework. Which is awesome. But at the same time, I really gotta do my homework this evening. I'm like, I can't go to the gym until I get all my homework done and I'm not gonna go to the gym at like 10 o'clock at night because those are my boundaries. No, after, I will not go to the gym later than like nine o'clock. Like after that I was like my unwind time. Yeah. I w anna chill out. Like I want to, I don't know. But when I am studying, I've been taking brain breaks and I've been chilling out and doing intentional breaks, I guess. Yeah. Like I do this thing where like I shake my brain around like I physically shake my brain. Like I think it's so funny, I crack myself up doing it. Literally be in my room studying and I take a break and I'm like doing heart wheel or a hands . I think it's so funny. I think it's hilarious. I crack myself up. I think it's so funny. And then like I'm like, oh well I just shook my brain around. It is time to go fill that other side of my brain up. I know that doesn't make any sense. And like…

Lexie: No, what a fun break.

Katie: Like physiologically, like that literally did nothing for me. But like in my mindset I'm like, placebo, everything's different now I'm fighting.

Lexie: It's your mindset.

Katie: It's all about your mindset.

Lexie: Stop. And you're being mindful of, my gosh.

Katie: It's honestly put me in a better mindset while I'm studying. Because a lot of my subjects right now, AK physics, I'm doing homework, and I get it wrong and I get so angry and so frustrated. And then like imagine like you're in your room by yourself doing a cartwheel stop. You can't be mad then that's it. Funny. That is my mindful moment. That's it.

Lexie: That's the most mindful moment I think

Katie: That's what I'm saying.

Lexie: Okay. I love it. I love it.

Usha: That's all for today. Hope you all enjoyed this and thank you for listening to our podcast and we will be back again.

All: Bye. Bye.