Lessons From an Unexpected Struggle

As I lay there looking up at the sky, ready to face my fate, my mind was racing. After not being able to walk off the field on my own power, I knew something wasn’t right. I thought to myself, “Just how bad could it really be?” After all, who expects the punter of all people to get hurt during a football game? It took the team doctor, Dr. Matthew Kolevar, all of about five seconds to examine my knee and give me his initial diagnosis. “It’s looking like a torn ACL and MCL, sorry for the crap news, kid.” In an instant, I felt a wave of emotions hit me as I heard what was being told to me through the piercing yelling of the crowd, thunderous music from the band, and screeching whistles from the referee. I couldn’t hear any of it besides those three letters, ACL. It was a cool fall day in the middle of October in Allendale, Michigan. The rain had fortunately held off for that afternoon’s football matchup between Grand Valley State and Saginaw Valley State, a bitter rivalry dubbed “The Battle of the Valleys.” After attempting to gain a first down on a fake punt and falling to the ground awkwardly, I suffered a torn ACL and MCL, and later found out I tore my lateral and medial menisci in my right leg. In the snap of a finger, my knee had gone from completely healthy to three torn ligaments. 

Unfortunately, I’ve had a bit of experience with injuries in the past. I broke my collarbone in elementary school, fractured my ankle in high school playing basketball, and dealt with a hamstring strain that kept me off the field during the 2023 season. The latter of the injuries was the most mentally and physically challenging, but it wouldn’t be a proper comparison to prepare for what the next nine to twelve months were going to look like. Hamstring injuries are known to linger if you don’t take care of them properly, as was the case for me due to ignorance and trying to push through it. I learned a lot of valuable lessons during that season while watching the entirety of it from the sidelines. It was my second season of college football, and seeing a lot of my teammates in my class taking advantage of opportunities on the field was hard to watch. I felt nothing but happiness for them, but couldn’t help feeling frustrated and jealous that it wasn’t me out there with them.

During that summer, I had a lot of free time on my hands that I didn’t know what to do with. Without football taking up my entire offseason and fall, I had a complete loss of identity. Free time is great if you’re used to being busy, but too much of it can cause your mind to wander to some dark places. During that summer when I couldn’t punt, I picked up photography. I had always wanted to try it after seeing my dad do it growing up, and this was the perfect time to try a new hobby. I saved up just enough money from my summer job to afford my first camera. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it could take photos, which is all I needed it to do. During a family trip to the Pacific Northwest that summer, my love for photography was born. I captured everything from my family to the beautiful nature, to the cities we visited, and everything in between. Since that summer, I have added photography as a minor, created my own LLC photography business, and gotten unimaginably better. What started as a hobby when I had a weak sense of who I was turned into an asset. Before I picked up a camera, I was incredibly frustrated and bored at the same time. All I could do was attack rehab every day, but that leaves about twenty-three hours left in the day. Because of that boredom, my mind stayed locked onto those negative feelings. It can also turn to fear about whether you will be the same, and can make you question your love for the sport you’ve spent your whole life playing. 

A little more than two years later, I found myself in a similar position after my knee injury. Only this time, I was in it for a much longer haul, and was going to be a lot less mobile. I had a successful surgery twelve days after my injury. In those twelve days, I managed to walk around slowly to get where I needed to, and did some beginning rehab exercises. I stayed around the football team as much as I could, trying to soak in every moment. Physically, I felt better after the first couple of days. However, mentally I was all over the place. My mind began to race with questions about surgery, recovery, what to expect, and how in the world I would go months and months without punting a football again. I did my best in trying to ask teammates who had been through a similar injury what to expect to help settle my mind. I knew that the loss of identity would hit me eventually, so I did what I could to keep myself busy instead of just letting my mind race. I turned back to photography and edited old projects I never finished. I also took the downtime to watch a lot of highly rated movies I had never seen before. Music has always helped me through tough times, so I went out of my way to listen to new genres and popular albums I had never heard. Once I was able to walk after the first month, I went on more walks than I ever had. A walk in the snow was better than lying on the couch all day. These hobbiesimproved my mental state a ton in the month post-surgery when I couldn’t walk. The isolation when everyone is out at work or going to school can cause your mind to wander into fear, frustration, boredom, and into the current state you are in physically. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t overwhelming at times. The first time I had to watch my teammates play from the couch at home was devastating. Even just being at the lifts, practices, or team dinners that make your bond stronger with your teammates is extremely valuable, and you don’t realize that until it's stripped from you without any prior notice. When I wasn’t feeling like myself mentally, I would do my best to partially distract myself with one of my hobbies, and then process the emotions as they came. It’s a lot at first, but as you continue to practice and work on your mental state, it eventually improves over time. 

For the first three months post-surgery, I could only do physical rehabilitation at home. This starts the day after surgery and involves important first steps in the recovery process. For me, it was never hard to get myself to do enough rehab. I couldn’t wait to start the process and continue to safely push what I was allowed to do. Safely is a key word in that sentence that I will allude to later. Part of me being so eager was because the timing of my injury potentially jeopardized whether I would be ready for the start of the following season. This was a good motivator for me and something that I took as a challenge. I also believe a huge part of me was ready to move on from surgery as quickly as possible. There’s a lot of physical pain on top of being constantly uncomfortable. It becomes extremely difficult to perform basic daily tasks such as getting dressed or taking a shower, to name a few. That forced me to appreciate my health, and for some people these are challenges they face daily. Thankfully for me, this only lasted for a month. 

What helped me the most was finding a purpose through the beginning process. Without a motivator, I knew it was going to be extremely difficult to wake up and do physical rehab multiple times a day on occasion. As I mentioned prior, for me this was to be ready for the following season. This is what got me out of bed every morning, guided me in choosing what fuel I put in my body, and how I attacked every single rep. Whenever things got hard and I wanted to stop or skip a workout, I would remind myself of this. Without something inspiring you to get out of bed and attack the day, the goal seems much farther than it actually is. You begin to think about how far you have to go, and not how far you’ve already come and the momentum you’ve built. There are certainly great things that come out of this process. The celebrations when you hit milestones are a feeling of true accomplishment, particularly when you've given it everything you have. However, along with those good days come a lot of challenges that you must endure head-on. Throughout this process, there were so many days I felt unmotivated, even when I reminded myself that this was to be ready for the next season. When that is months on end away, you start to question yourself if this one day truly matters. You must not let yourself fall into this mindset, because it quickly snowballs into a bad week, then a bad month, and so on. 

On top of difficult days are setbacks, soreness, and boredom in the routine. Particularly for the injury I had, it's very common at some point to be so sore that you have to take a few days off. This happened to me when I began my return-to-running program. I had a sharp pain in my knee that made it slightly painful to walk, and pretty much impossible to run. In that moment, my entire world felt like it was collapsing. I began to wonder if something serious was wrong, and just how long I would feel this pain for. If my knee couldn’t handle running, how on Earth was I going to punt again? In the end, I only ended up having to rest for a few days before I was able to run again. Those few days were some of the most frustrating and mentally challenging days I experienced in my recovery. I found it best to truly rest and to not let my mind go to extremes. 

As a college student-athlete, I constantly question whether I am doing enough. In doing so, I occasionally overdo it and take steps backward. This was the prime cause of my hamstring injury. I learned the valuable lesson through that injury and carried it through this recovery. I listened to my body, and in this case, when I began experiencing pain running, I immediately told our trainer. Instead of trying to push through things and making them worse, I cut my losses early. This became crucial when I started running and punting later in my recovery. Without having kicked a football for seven months, I was enthusiastic to start again. I had to remind myself that just because I felt good doesn’t mean I should rush through the process. I stuck to my return to punting plan, all while reminding myself that this was to be ready for the first game of the 2026 season. Sometimes no steps forward are better than trying to force it, and you end up taking steps back in your recovery. I would always tell myself to take baby steps. Don’t try to leap forward and end up back where you were a month ago. Slow, constant progress trumps forcing your body to do things it’s not ready for. It’s a lesson as old as the tortoise and the hare story, but one that is easily forgotten in the college student-athlete mind addicted to pushing the physical limits.

When I started to slowly come back and begin to run and eventually cut, I still felt at times like I was a long way from the finish line. While I did still have a few months to go, I was able to complete athletic activities that I couldn’t just a few months prior. Even with this, I had to sit through every spring practice from the sidelines. I would head straight to practice after I completed rehab for the day, and would watch as my teammates competed. I felt somewhat connected to the team, but I remember having a couple of stark realizations that could help me feel more connected. One of my close friends on the team mentioned at that time how having me around at all was an inspiration. I would complete my running workouts on the side of the practice field that wasn’t being used. A good chunk of the team last saw me with crutches and a brace, and for me to now be running just a few months later showed them that rehab had been going well. I would often hear remarks of encouragement from teammates as I ran on the practice field. The first realization was how powerful some of those simple remarks can be. Even a simple “you’re moving great!” went a long way for me, as I’m sure it will for anyone who’s rehabbing a significant injury. The other realization was that I was leading by example. I was showing my teammates firsthand that if you do what you’re supposed to, everything else will take care of itself. I followed that by beginning to lead in other ways. I would go out of my way to talk to injured teammates more than ever due to my new perspective. I would ask them how things are going, and I would give them words of encouragement, just as I received from my teammates. This showed me how you can be valuable in many more ways than just your performance on gamedays. You can be a leader in more ways than just being the loud guy at practice. It’s not a “one-size-fits-all” system. I would never have thought that I could start to use leadership skills on the football team when I first arrived on campus, but by extending my identity beyond a player and providing more value to my team, I did. 

Through the entire process, and more specifically the later months in my rehab process, I subscribed to a mindset when I felt overwhelmed. Dealing with a knee injury of this magnitude is an everyday battle. Even on days I wasn’t actively doing physical rehab, I was doing my best to improve my situation in other ways. I would ice, stretch, use compression boots, foam roll, drink plenty of water, and get to bed early. This contributed to my mindset of controlling what I could control, and letting go of the rest. This mindset helped me take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how far I had to go, or what I couldn’t do, I would simply worry about giving my best effort in doing what I was allowed. In doing this, I didn’t feel overwhelmed in thegrueling process of rehab. A multiple-month physical therapy rehab program is a difficult and challenging process. Especially when you’re doing the same ten basic movements in somewhat varied forms until you get stronger and can advance in the process. This mindset also strengthened my foundation of hydration, nutrition, and sleep. By taking care of those, I was able to feel fresh most days and continue to reach milestones faster and faster. This foundation is completely under an athlete's control, and if it’s not maintained will cause issues down the line. Think of it like a house. A strong foundation for a house means it can withstand more and doesn’t break down as easily over time. In short, it can endure more for longer. A weak foundation will crumble over time, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first, it will eventually weaken. How strong do you want your house to be? 

When I look back at how far I’ve come since that dreadful afternoon in October, I’m shocked by the growth I’ve experienced. Physically, I feel as good as new and couldn’t have had a better recovery, but mentally I feel like a new person as well. I’ve gained new experiences and lessons through the hard times, which created an amazing feeling when I accomplished what I set out to do. It wasn’t without its struggles in figuring out what worked for me, and the loss of identity hits hard at first. By keeping myself busy when I needed it with new hobbies, I found a new love for things I already enjoyed. I also learned firsthand to take the good with the bad. Without having a few difficult days or setbacks, the milestones and productive weeks wouldn’t have felt so good. I additionally discovered other ways that I could uplift teammates and use leadership skills that I have developed over the years. This taught me that it isn’t all about what you do on Saturdays, but about how you go about being a good teammate and taking care of your body that shapes who you are. Recovering from a significant injury is an unfortunate result of playing sports at the college level, and I’m not naive to think that I’m the only one who has ever gone through this; I realize there will be many athletes after me who will experience a similar situation. To all of those athletes: you’re stronger than you realize. Never look back, and take each day as it comes, whether it’s the day you finally get cleared to return, or a recent day post-surgery when falling asleep feels nearly impossible. It’s not easy, but lean on others to support you. No incredible accomplishment was ever completed truly alone, and that is especially true when it comes to these situations.

Evan Sundermann

#LakersRiseTogether #AnchorUp