Writer preserves life stories of hospice patients

by Mary Isca Pirkola

      As a writing major, Diana Nowak is accustomed to deadlines and challenging assignments. Yet, she had her moments of doubt about being able to complete one very urgent writing project on time — the life story of a dying man.

photo by Bernadine Carey-Tucker

Yvonne Elliott, a Spectrum Health Hospice volunteer coordinator, left, stands with Diana Nowak, a My Life Story volunteer, at a volunteer fair on campus. Nowak volunteered to write the story of a patient under Hospice care.

    Nowak, a senior from Rochester Hills, was searching online for some meaningful way to use her writing skills. While many students look for internships, she decided to first pursue volunteer opportunities and discovered Spectrum Health Continuing Care.

    Spectrum Health provides volunteer services ranging from arts and crafts and bedside music to visitors. The one that caught Nowak’s attention was the My Life Story program. Established in 2007, the program provides an opportunity for patients receiving end-of-life care to have their memories written and printed in a keepsake book for their families.

    While Nowak had some concerns about the emotional aspects of getting involved, she found the program’s training addressed her concerns and much more. Throughout August, Nowak joined other My Life Story volunteers in weekly, three-hour training sessions led by Yvonne Elliott, a Spectrum Health Hospice volunteer coordinator.

     “It was important to discuss the very different pre-conceived ideas each of them had about death. We also focused on universal feelings of wanting to make a difference and how to assist a patient through processing their unique life story,” said Elliott.

    Some of the questions writing applicants were asked hit close to home for Nowak. “We were asked to make a list of people close to us and how we would react if one were taken away,” said Nowak, whose father died in an car accident when she was 3 years old. “It is common to lose someone, so I’ve learned to find the positive in it. In my case, since there was only my mom and I left behind, we became really close.”

    Nowak said she felt like she had some experience with death, yet now feels she has gained another perspective. Spectrum Health Hospice paired her with an elderly cancer patient, Mr. C*. “He knew the cancer was spreading and that he was terminal, yet he was so accepting of it and appreciative of the life he’d lived,” Nowak said.

    Mr. C was born in 1926 and shared with Nowak many details of his life, including experiences as a merchant marine during World War II. “Our first session was about 90 minutes, and I remember wondering where I would start. But he made it so easy, and it was obvious he’d put a lot of thought into this before I came,” said Nowak.

    Nowak used a tape recorder when she met with Mr. C at his assisted living residence each week. The more she learned about his life, the more urgent it was to her to get his stories written. She became very committed and often increased her visits to twice weekly. “All the while I was working with him I had the sense that his time was running out. After each session, he would shake my hands and thank me profusely. That meant a lot to me and I really wanted to do a good job for him. I ended up writing in his first-person voice, which was quite challenging. I really had to put myself in his shoes, living his life,” she said.

    Nowak presented the 15-page book of life stories to Mr. C just after Thanksgiving. She then asked to stay on with him as part of the Friendly Visitor program because she wanted to continue to spend time with him. Nowak only got in one more visit before going home for the holiday break at the end of the semester. At the beginning of January she received word that he died.

    Family members from across the country welcomed Nowak at the local memorial service for Mr. C. “It was bittersweet to see so many photos on display — many from the very life events he had shared with me,” she said. “I was nervous about attending, yet was surprised by the many warm expressions of gratitude I received. They had Mr. C’s Life Story book there and everyone was reading it.”

    Nowak said she will take some time off to grieve, but wants to return to the program with another patient. “This experience changed my life by giving me a new perspective on death, and I share it in hopes that others will take part in it," she said.

    To learn more about the My Life Story program and additional volunteer opportunities, contact Yvonne Elliott, Spectrum Health Hospice and Palliative Care volunteer coordinator, at (616) 391-4240, or yvonne.elliott@spectrumhealth.org.

*General details about Nowak’s patient are shared here with permission from his family.