Consent: Get It

When it comes to having sex, the more you communicate, the better the sex and the relationship will be.

 True and clear consent is key to a healthy sexual experience or relationship. Before you do anything, make sure you ask clear and direct questions! Enthusiastic consent MUST be present when engaging in any sexual activity or touching.

I really like you and I am ready to _____. Would you be interested in taking that step?

Practicing consent is about asking for what you what clearly and directly. Be explicit! This gives your potential partner the autonomy to say yes, say no, or maybe negotiate something different. 

Do you want to have sex?

If your potential partner isn't interested, don't pressure them. Respect their comfort zone. Explore what they are comfortable doing. 
I understand if you're not ready to have sex, is it OK if we try something else instead? Is there anything you would like to try?

If your partner is interested, ask about boundaries.
Before we have sex, how far do you think you would be comfortable going?

It makes me hot when you ___. Would you like to do that?

Communicate what turns you on the most. It's easy to pleasure someone when you know exactly what they like.

I love it when you ____. Can you do that again?

Who doesn't like getting positive feedback?! And in return, ask what turns them on. Nothing is sexier than your partner taking an interest in what makes you hot.

What do you enjoy the most?

If you are interested in what your potential partner shares, ask for consent for that specific thing.
That sounds hot; can I do that to you?

If not, don't shame others' desires. Instead, look for an activity of common interest.   
Thanks for sharing. What else do you like?

Do you like it when I ___? I want it to feel good to you. What can I do to make it hotter for you?

Be specific and state exactly what you want to do and ask if your partner would enjoy it, too. Be clear so that there are no awkward or uncomfortable surprises during sex.

I'm dying to _______ you right now. May I?

Your excitement might make your partner excited, too!

It would really turn me on if we ______. Can we?

Always ask before trying something new. Make sure your partner is comfortable with the idea.

Does ____ sound like something you would like to try?

Exploring potential experiences with your partner creates space for finding common interests.

What do you want to do next? Are you as into this as I am?

Consent is an ongoing pattern of communication. Make sure your partner is still into everything that is happening!

Do you like that? How does this feel?

Ask for feedback. And then respect what your partner shares.

Even if someone has said yes, they have the right to change their mind. If someone says stop, then STOP.

I'm uncomfortable means STOP.

That hurts means STOP.

I don't want to do this anymore means STOP.

Page last modified August 14, 2015